At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
