And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
