It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
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