We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
