Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Randomize
