she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize