nut hugger
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize