Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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