how hairy? two words: wookie tits
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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