I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize