Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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