I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
