i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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