If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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