Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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