Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize