He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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