So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
