I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
