we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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