Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
