you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
