i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
