soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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