awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
