i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
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