So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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