It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
