matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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