some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
