i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
