I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
where am i from again
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
