Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
this boner is exhausting
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Randomize
