Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
