I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
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