btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize