whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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