Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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