But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
