Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
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