we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize