We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
