You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
