Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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