i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
