Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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