Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
