why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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