Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Sorry about my life...
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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