i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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