im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
