Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
