you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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