What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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