I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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