I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
