So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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