My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
