We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
