i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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