I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?