No awkward lesbian experiences without me
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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