Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
