508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
