did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
