i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
